While living a busy life we generally don’t get time to spend with our partners and hence are unable to maintain the spark in a relationship. The love between the two of us is and should always be the priority in both our lives. The hustle and bustle in our everyday lives could lead to an intentional gesture of taking our partners for granted. The romance and lovey-dovey talks gradually decrease, turning our lives and relationships boring over time. Romance is what keeps things alive, and we cannot do without it.
Read our post on “10 Ways on How to make a boring relationship interesting again” to also maintain the spark in your relationship.
We are not at fault; if anyone or rather, anything is at fault, it is our busy and stressful lives. And while we are doing everything we can for our partners, we have no time to share little nothings about our days with them. But it is things like these, like, sitting together to talk about our days, sharing some official conflicts or achievements, or having a quiet meal together that keep the spark alive. We’re so mentally occupied all the time, that we do not even realize we ought to invest more efforts to maintain the spark in a relationship.
What is the Spark in a relationship?
To maintain the spark in a relationship, we need to come to terms with understanding what spark means.
The particular experience of excitement and enthusiasm, passion at the beginning of your relationship are some best moments of your relationship; they’re the SPARK.
almost everyone has heard this phrase, “The chemistry between a couple.” The spark, understanding, and all other such aspects combined together make the spark. When in love, many romantics end up seeing a pink sky with double rainbows. While these are just figures of speech, the phrase butterflies in the stomach is so true!
The endless thought of that person, the racing heartbeat when you hear them take your name, the anxiety of picking up the call nor too soon or not too late… they’re all part of the beginning. Love then becomes flawless, and imperfections seem perfect. Everything fits.
But what happens when you start spending more time together and your relationship lasts longer than two-three years? That’s when you need to maintain the spark in a relationship.
8 Tips to maintain the spark in a relationship
1. Express your needs
There’s a line that’s circulating that goes on the lines of how someone who loves us will free their time to talk to us as opposed to talking to us in their free time. It applies to us too. But when you do talk to one another, are you able to express your needs?
We generally avoid some things, knowing that it’ll fire an argument, but some discussions are unavoidable. It’s necessary to take some time so that both partners get a chance to share their feelings and thoughts.
Not talking about our needs will slowly lead to unsaid disappointments, killing the spark that we’ve built over the years. But talking will help us work through our feelings and problems. By expressing all the relevant realities and emotions in front of each other, we will create a comfortable environment for communication. Expressing every good and bad emotion, thought, and problem help maintain the spark in a relationship.
2. Lay the first stone of Intimacy
Romance is a vital fuel to boost our relationships. It’s very crucial to make our partners sense the desire in us. Unfortunately, in this new era, where everyone wants an intimate relationship, they also live with the fear of rejection or some unresolved anger, which doesn’t let them create a romantic atmosphere.
When we lay the first stone of intimacy, our partners will feel desired by us, helping us to maintain the spark in a relationship. It also acts as a reminder to our partners that we want to feel the closeness and that we’re making the first move.
For initiating intimacy, plan some date nights in a romantic environment with things that the both of you look. You can think of something different from the cliched balloons, cake, candles, and the like. Don’t forget to wear your best; it hints at romance!
3. Don’t Blame Your Partner
Frustration provokes us to fester when our manual and sentimental desires are not fulfilled. Often, frustration provokes destructive sentiments like blame, guilt, and remorse, which can strike disturbances in our relationships.
While being in a frustrating situation, it is easy to criticize our partners than to compromise and find win-win solutions to keep the bond alive. Blaming each other, fighting for the passion with the person who has always been a supporter makes the chemistry even harder to maintain.
REMEMBER: Love, adjust, compromise, understanding are all different, but are equally important to maintain the spark in a relationship.
4. Make an effort to do something new together
Aren’t you fed up doing the same thing every day? Wake up in the morning, and go about the same chores without giving it another thought… it’s so mundane! And the evenings aren’t any different. We return home tired, relish one meal, and retire for the day. We have to wait for special days to do something for our loved ones.
Isn’t this tiring?? Why now invest some efforts in doing something new, something different together?
When we try to do something new, we will not only find pleasure in it but that new environment will let us know of the things we were never aware of. It’ll lead to conversations about the past, and the future, and you will find a new way to maintain the spark in a relationship. Sounds awesome, right?
5. The lovely little moments
It’s not mandatory that only some actions can bring back the spark in a relationship. Romance is more powerful than anything when in love. Find some spark in those lovely little moments. Making eye contact, praising your partner, holding hands, hugging from the back, little lovey-dovey chit chats with your love are some of the effective ways to maintain the spark in a relationship.
These small moments have scientific backing. Apparently, such actions generate neural synchrony, releasing oxytocin, adrenalin, dopamine, and serotonin (the love hormone) at the same time. Together, these make the chemistry in our relationships, making us feel more connected to that person.
Sometimes, just walking into the room where your partner is sitting, and giving them a huge smile can spark a lightening. Don’t avoid each other when in one house. Try it, and that’s how you can maintain the spark in a relationship.
6. Passionate Kiss
Take a look back to your youth, and relive those outrageously exciting moments. Those first kisses, don’t they still give us the jitters? That’s Because kisses strike the connection. If you feel it in a kiss, then there is scope for a relationship. Times have been changed but kissing still screams passionate love, and that’s one of the best ways to maintain the spark in a relationship.
KISSING initiates intimacy, the spontaneous and exciting one!
Kiss without any expectations when you are heading back to your home, walking under the street lights, while feeling the raindrops just to remind them you love them, even more with each passing day.
You know that current you feel in your body while kissing? Yes! This is the spark you always want in your relationship!
7. Convey your affection by simply saying I LOVE YOU
To maintain the spark in a relationship, you need understand to understand the areas in which your relationship is lacking. Maybe you are not good at chatting or aren’t very expressive or romantic, but saying those magical words every once in a while makes our partners feel loved.
I love you in English, Wó ai ni in Chinese, Je t’aime in French, Ti amp in Italian, Eu te amo in Portuguese- there are many ways and many languages to say I LOVE YOU. Saying it every once in a while is the first stone in cementing a relationship.
Try saying it in different languages with help from our article- 15 Ways to say ‘I Love You’ In Different Languages.
Sometimes you need some flirty lines, some serious lovely lines to maintain the spark in a relationship. WAIT!! Why do I use the word serious? Because a relationship sometimes takes turns on roads of arguments, and we need the perfect words to express it. Use your I love you’s, or just those words that fix things… but make it right!
8. The three “S” (surprise, share, sorry)
Surprises are exciting for everyone. Many relationship experts claim that surprises can heal some small cracks in a relationship. Plan a romantic surprise for your partner and see how it can level up your bond. I suggest, recreate your first date; it is one of the biggest surprises for partners.
Sharing is the next most important thing in a relationship. If you are wondering how to bring back the spark in a relationship, remember to share all of your thoughts, dilemmas, problems, and emotions with your partner. Never stop bringing back the beautiful memories of the time you have spent together. Not only share your thoughts and emotions but also share your time, share your food, share your mood!
Sorry, the five-letter word has a strong power to rebuild the broken pieces in a relationship. Either you are at fault or not, saying sorry meaningfully when you are at fault, or reciprocating to a sorry ignites the feeling that the couple simply cannot do without each other. Sorry leads to long-lasting relationships. Although sometimes, some arguments need more than just this word, but that’s a separate chapter altogether.
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